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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can get us: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?